Less Than Tomorrow
by Bridlin
Summary: Fillers for season six. "She wanted to tell him to stop, to take them out again and throw them back on the floor so that when she got back after her first day with the unit she'd find a little bit of him there, not just an apartment full of unpacked boxes but empty of everything that mattered."
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of Castle and that makes me sad.**

**For you see, each day I love you more **

**Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.**

**Rosemonde Gerard**

* * *

Valkyrie

Kate perches on the edge of the desk, staring up at the photograph of Bronson and the image of a vial of yellow tinged liquid on the smart screen. The story is starting to make sense and she wishes, not for the first time, that Castle were here to share it with her instead of back in New York. He shouldn't have come to DC to see her but, despite the trouble he'd caused, she was so glad he had. Six weeks was too long.

* * *

_Six weeks earlier_

'_Relax, you're gonna be great, Kate. You'll ace the training. You're the best,' Castle said, unzipping a few inches of his overnight bag to force in the pair of boxers he'd found on the bedroom floor._

_She'd raked her fingers through her hair, watching him prod the grey silk material clear of the teeth of the zipper. She wanted to tell him to stop, to take them out again and throw them back on the floor so that when she got back after her first day with the unit she'd find a little bit of him there, not just an apartment full of unpacked boxes but empty of everything that mattered. But she didn't because his airport limousine had already been waiting for ten minutes and she was expecting her new partner to pick her up any moment. Her only contact with Agent McCord had been a brief, business-like telephone call the day before to confirm that she'd pick Kate up on her way to the Attorney General's office. She hadn't asked any personal questions, no "how are you settling in?" "do you need anything?" and Kate sensed that it wouldn't make the right first impression on the agent if she found her clinging to her fiancé. _

'_I think you might be a little biased, Castle,' she said, trying to force a smile. _

'_Who, me? I'm completely impartial. You're extraordinary and these Feds would have to be really stupid not to see that as soon as they meet you. That's why you're here. Stack saw it straight away.' _

_He straightened up giving his hips a little shake._

'_You okay?'_

'_Yeah, just a kink.'_

'_You shouldn't bend over like that, you know. Bend your knees.'_

'_Do I detect wifely concern?' he said, raising one eyebrow. She shook her head._

'_Nope. Self interest. I want you in good shape in two weeks time.'_

_He grinned and pushed his bag towards the door with his foot, turning to assess her navy trouser suit and button down blue shirt._

'_You look great. Perfect blend of badass tough with barely suppressed sensuality.'_

'_I don't think there's much about this that's sensual,' she said with a rueful grimace at her outfit._

'_That's because you're not me. Are those heels regulation height, Agent Beckett?' _

_He reached for her wrist and pulled her towards him and she went willingly, her smile widening._

'_Strangely, that's one thing not specified in the clothing guidelines. Do you think I should take them off?'_

_She slipped one hand around him to stroke away the pain in his lower back that she imagined might be bothering him, trailing the fingers of her other hand down the stubble on his cheek. _

'_Not if I'm going to make my plane.' _

_The hand that had come to rest lightly on the small of her back, snapped her forward closing the space between them._

'_I'm going to miss you,' she whispered against his lips._

'_I'll be back in two weeks and we'll talk all the time.'_

_His lips ghosted over hers, gentle and seductive, promising so much more. Two weeks without him sounded like an eternity but they couldn't fall at the first hurdle. A car horn sounded and he lifted his head to look over her shoulder and out the window._

'_I've really got to go if I'm going to catch my flight.'_

_She slid her hand from his cheek to the nape of his neck, dragging his mouth back down to meet her open lips, frantically seeking his tongue with her own. His arms tightened, and she could feel his desperation matching her own. She whimpered as he pulled his mouth away, resting her cheek on his chest, not ready to let him go._

'_I'll call you when I get home. Go save the world and I'll go sign some books.'_

_He dropped a kiss on top of her head and took her shoulders in his hands, gently but firmly prising her away from him. She bit her lip as she watched him open the door._

'_Love you,' she affirmed._

'_I love you too.' He smiled, his cobalt blue eyes misty, and with a final quick peck on her lips he was walking out door._

_She stood in the doorway, shielding her eyes from the bright sun with her hand, and watched him give his bag to the driver. He turned to wave before slipping into the backseat and she lifted her hand to return the gesture._

'_Agent Beckett?' _

_Her attention was momentarily diverted by the sound of her name and she spun her head in the direction of the voice. A woman, her sharp suit softened by a mass of dark curls, strode towards her across the grass. _

'_Huh?' She turned back to Castle's car only to see the break lights as it disappeared around the corner. Damn. She turned her full attention on the woman who must be her new partner. _

'_Yes. Hi. I'm Beckett. You must be Agent McCord.'_

_The woman took her outstretched hand in a firm grip._

'_Visitor already?' she said, nodding towards the now empty road._

'_My fiancé. He came down from New York with me. Helped me with my stuff.' _

'_You're engaged? Huh.' _

_McCord raised her brows, her surprise evident. Kate couldn't help but notice the lack of any congratulations. _

'_Your lipstick's smeared,' she said, turning back towards her silver saloon._

* * *

McCord comes back and hands her a mug of coffee and she grimaces as she takes a sip of the bitter, grey-brown liquid. The agent leans on the desk beside her and Kate can't help but think that that's Castle place.

'The coroner has confirmed that the unexplained toxin in Bronson's blood is HL234. CSU are trying to find out how it was administered,' says McCord.

'What?' she adds, looking down at the fingers that Kate hadn't even realised that she was drumming on the edge of the desk.

'This toxin, it's a chemical weapon. Why do we even manufacture stuff like this?'

'That's not our concern. Our job is to get it back and catch the people who stole it.'

Kate opens her mouth to speak and then closes it again. Idle speculation isn't something this team seems to indulge in and it frustrates her. Her own desire to dig up all the details of a case has only been heightened by her years with Castle. He has taught her that understanding the whole story is so often the key to solving a case. Her limited time in DC has already shown her that she'll rarely be able to do that because there's always information that's too highly classified for her to know. It would drive Castle crazy. As he burrows back into her thoughts, her phone rings. She glances at the screen and her lips twitch up. Bang on cue.

'Excuse me,' she says, sliding off the desk and heading towards a quiet corner of the office. She notices McCord roll her eyes. She never seems to take personal calls.

'Hey, I was just thinking about you,' she says keeping her voice low.

'And I was thinking about you.'

His voice is warm, laced with love, and she half closes her eyes, drinking it in.

'Is this a bad time?' he asks.

'I can spare a couple of minutes.'

'How's the case going?'

'Castle…'

'I don't want details. Just hoping it's not too stressful.'

She sighs. 'We're waiting on stuff at the moment. I expect it's going to be a late night. What are you doing?'

'Just got home. Pi's cooking papaya steaks. Jesus, Kate, I'm not sure how much longer I can put up with him.'

She laughs. 'Patience, Dad. If Alexis thinks you disapprove you could be in trouble.'

'Beckett!'

'That's McCord. Gotta go. Enjoy the fruit steaks. Love ya.'

'Love you too. Call me later. Any time. Even if it's three in the morning. Bye.'

* * *

_Two days earlier_

_It was almost midnight when she got back to her apartment. She was dog-tired but more than that, she was weary. She should be cocooned in Castle's arms in New York now. That thought had kept her going for the weeks that their schedules had conspired to keep them apart. She was looking forward to doing normal things together. Grabbing a coffee at Luigi's and maybe a walk in the park. If they got out of bed at all. Six frigging weeks._

_The two weeks after their engagement had been a frantic jumble of packing and paperwork. This weekend was going to be their first chance to take a breath and actually enjoy the fact that they were engaged. That Richard Castle had asked Kate Beckett to marry him and she'd said yes. So, she was weary. At least one more week until she'd see him. It was too long._

_Passing the still unpacked boxes she went straight to the bathroom, unbuttoning her shirt in front of the mirror to reveal the stunning diamond, nestling between her breasts beside her mother's ring. She'd get ready for bed and then call him. He'd still be awake but she knew he wouldn't care if she woke him. Hearing his voice would help her to banish the dark clouds that she could feel descending. _

_She stilled. The noise behind her was unmistakeable. There was someone in her apartment. An intruder was the last thing that she was expecting but her reactions were as sharp as ever. She grabbed her gun and spun round in one fluid movement. _

_Castle. She could hardly believe it when she saw him. She couldn't even pretend to be mad that he'd turned up when he knew she was working a case. Her tiredness forgotten, she clambered at him, desperate to get close, needing to feel all of him. The first time was fast and frantic but wonderful. Afterwards, when they made it to bed, she'd lain against his chest, his long arm holding her tight, and they'd chatted about everything and nothing._

'_P-i-e?'_

'_Without an e. That's not a name. It's a greek letter. It's 3.14159…' _

'_Sshhh. Shh, Rick. Don't panic,' she interrupted the rising tone._

'_He lives in Amsterdam, Kate. Amsterdam! We all know what happens in Amsterdam. And he says he's lost his passport. Firstly, that's irresponsible, and secondly, why doesn't he get a replacement?'_

'_I guess it takes a while. I don't think you need worry. Just because he lives in Amsterdam doesn't mean he smokes pot. It sounds like he's careful about what he puts in his body.'_

'_A dealer! The cleverest dealers don't do drugs. Can you run a check on him? No, you're too busy. I'll get Ryan to do it. He can contact Interpol…'_

'_Castle! Stop! He doesn't sound like Alexis' sort of guy at all. She's just spreading her wings a bit. Checking what's out there…'_

'_And bringing it home.'_

'_You should be glad of that. You should worry more about the guys she doesn't bring home to Daddy.'_

'_What do you mean?'_

'_I can see I'm going to have to help you take your mind off Pi,' she said, the tips of her fingers gliding down his side, pausing at his hip._

'_And how do you propose to do that, Agent Beckett. Oooh… I… Hmmm…'_

* * *

She wonders what she's done now. McCord and Villante are standing together, both watching her walk towards them. She speeds up. She's in enough trouble already because of the photo that Castle saw. She really doesn't need anymore. As she reaches them, he looks away, avoiding eye contact. Crap. Maybe he's chucking her out but it's McCord who speaks.

'Agent Beckett, we've found out how Bronson was infected.'

'Right.' She's puzzled. She misread them. It's nothing personal. Damn, she's losing her touch.

'The toxin was aerosolized.'

'In his apartment? What about other tenants in the building?' Maybe that's why they are so serious. There are more victims.

McCord shakes her head. Villante's eyes track from the floor to the ceiling.

'His car. They used the ventilation system.'

It hits her like a physical blow to her chest. She gulps a breath. Her eyes flit from one to the other. Villante glances at her and then turns his attention to his shoes.

'Castle,' she exhales his name on the breath she'd been holding. 'Castle was in that car. He might be infected.'

She drags her phone from her pocket with fumbling fingers but McCord reaches out to grab her hand, encasing both her fingers and the mobile. Kate tries to shake her off.

'I've got to warn him.'

'Kate.' it's the first time she's used her first name, 'we've sent someone. They're going to bring him back to DC so we can test him.'

'Bringing him here?'

'If he's infected, nobody in New York will be able to help him.'

The phone lights up through their fingers and starts to ring and Kate tugs it away from her. It's the loft landline.

'Castle…' she says, turning away from them.

'Katherine, Richard has been taken away by two men. They said they were Federal Agents. Alexis is calling his lawyer now. I know he was looking into that case of yours. Do you know what's happening?'

'Martha,' she says covering her eyes with her hand. 'I… er… I'll… I'll find out. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Let me… I'll take care of it.'

She disconnects and turns back to McCord. Villante is watching her now, his expression unreadable.

'You can't tell them anything, Beckett. This is classified and needs to remain that way.'

Kate starts stalking back and forth in front of them, her jaw working. Swallowing the lump that's constricting her throat she speaks to Villante.

'Tell me everything about this toxin,' she says, her voice low.

'Agent…'

'I need to know. Everything!' she snaps, attracting the attention of the other agents in the office.

He nods. 'Come with me. Both of you.'

* * *

Villante leaves the two women in his office. McCord stays for a minute longer, watching Kate who drops her head into her hands, covering her face. She stays there, elbows on her knees, not wanting to believe what she's just heard. She feels McCord's hand on her shoulder.

'We're doing all we can to track these people down.'

'If Castle is infected… We have to find them. We have to get that antidote.'

'We'll do our best…'

Kate lifts her head and meets McCord's eyes.

'It better be good enough,' she spits out, her jaw tense.

McCord nods her understanding and leaves, shutting the door behind her.

Kate inhales deeply, trying to get her erratic breathing under control. Her eyes well but she blinks back the tears. She's got to be strong. She has to keep calm for Castle. She'll be no use to him if she breaks down. She bites her lip hard to stop the tremble that starts as she thinks about how scared he must be right now, in the custody of Federal Agents who won't tell him anything because they don't know anything. Villante had assured her that they'd been told he was a witness and they should treat him as such. They'd better.

She's clinging to the hope that he's not infected but she knows from what Villante has told her that that's a very slim hope. She stands and rakes her fingers through her hair, mentally shaking herself, before opening the door and striding out towards the smart board.

'What have we got on the aerosolizer?' she asks Hendricks.

* * *

She's struggled to concentrate for the last half hour since Villante had told her that Castle was in the building. They won't let her see him until they've got the results of the blood test. It won't take long. The toxin is easily identified.

'Agent Beckett,' McCord calls from the break room.

Kate reaches her in a few long strides her fingers nervously picking at each other. McCord hands her a coffee but she shakes her head, knowing she couldn't hold the mug steady.

'Just tell me.'

'He's infected.'

'How bad?' asks Kate, holding the back of a chair for support.

'Bad. Bronson was poisoned slowly, over a number of days, but the crash damaged the aerosolizer and a much bigger dose was released.' She hesitates, 'he's got about twenty four hours.'

'Oh God,' Kate moans.

'I'm sorry.'

'Sorry's not enough.'

'I know. He's in Interview 2. I guessed you'd want to tell him yourself.'

Kate nods. When she hears the door close she doesn't try to stop the tears. They fall silently making crooked tracks on his face, dropping from her chin on to the back of the chair. She makes no effort to wipe them away. She's going to find the bastards behind this and get that antidote. She has to. The alternative is unthinkable.

She sniffs and lets go of the chair back to rub her face with both hands, swiping her middle fingers fiercely across the top of her cheeks as if signalling that she's done with crying for now. She'll be strong for him like he was strong for her when he didn't leave her as she stood on a bomb. He's always there for her. Now it's her turn. She hurries to the locker room to clean up, aware of curious eyes stealing surreptitious glances. They're not unkind but she doesn't make eye contact. Sympathy would break her.

The locker room is empty. She'd been stunned at how tidy it was when she first saw it. The locks all in working order on the dent-free, uncorroded grey lockers. Now she doesn't even see them as a wave of nausea hits her and she dives for the restroom, the heaving starting so suddenly she doesn't even have time to close the cubicle door. She empties her stomach, waiting for the dry heaving to subside. As soon as she's confident that she has power over her body again, she stumbles out splashing water on her face and drying it with paper towels. She touches up her makeup in the mirror inside her locker door, hoping that the extra eyeliner will hide the red rims from Castle.

Interview 2 is the other side of the main control room. She walks through, head high, but the ceaseless movement of her hands gives her away.

'Turn that off. Now,' she orders Hendricks, pointing at the clear image of Castle, head down as he examines something on his right arm, on the computer screen.

Hendricks looks at McCord and she nods in agreement and Kate sees the screen turn black out of the corner of her eye.

* * *

He lifts his head as she comes through the door, his relief at seeing her palpable. He's worried but she can tell that he expects her to have the answers. His confidence in her as she starts talking is almost overwhelming. He makes a crack about water-boarding, deflecting with humour as usual.

She reaches for his hand, burrowing her fingers into his palm, needing the contact even more than he does because she knows what's coming.

'No, no, babe, can… can you listen for a second.'

She has his full attention now and she forces the words out, telling him exactly how it is, just as he'd do for her. She's going to make it right. She's got to. She has no future without him because she hardly knows where she ends and he begins.

* * *

**I couldn't resist though there are so many other things I should be doing. I'm going to leave this open. I may add fillers for other episodes if that's where my muse takes me. I hope you enjoy this. As always, I'd love to know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dreamworld

Castle has drifted off to sleep again and Kate can't take her eyes off his face. He looks peaceful. Daylight has transformed the sterile room from the dimly lit, ominous place where Martha and Alexis had found her at 2am clutching his hand as if her grip on his fingers was the only thing keeping him alive. He's still linked up to the monitor but the pulsing beep and array of multi-coloured lines dancing on the screen that had been so menacing in the dark, now reassure her that the antidote and medical team have both done their jobs.

His right hand, bruised from the cannula that is still in place but no longer connected to an infusion bag, rests on the bed completely covering her much smaller one. She's vaguely aware of cramping in her fingers now that the tension of holding on tightly for so many hours is easing but instead of slipping them out so that she can flex them and get the blood flowing properly again, she tunnels further in until she can feel the weight of his warm palm on her knuckles.

'Katherine.'

Martha's back. She hadn't noticed the door open.

'Kate?' the older woman persists and she realises that she hasn't responded.

'Sorry. He's fallen asleep,' she says.

'So I see. The doctor said he's going to be fine, darling.'

Kate knows that it's true but she's mesmerised by the little movements of his face; the tiniest tremor of his lips as he exhales and the intermittent twitch of his nose. Mostly is the tenuous flicker of his eyelashes as if his lids are about to lift.

'There's a federal agent waiting to see you. She's in the corridor. I think she's been there a long time.'

'Right,' she acknowledges, but she doesn't move.

'Kate, he's going to be fine,' Martha says again.

'I know, Martha, but he might wake up.'

'And if he does Alexis and I will be here. I promise to tell him that you haven't abandoned him.'

The words remind her that he isn't hers alone. Others love him too. She straightens her curved back, widening her field of vision. Alexis is standing by the other side of the bed, her fingertips resting on the sheet near her father's hand. The girl looks hesitant and Kate gives her a half smile. She wants time with her dad. Of course she does. And Martha should have a chance to sit beside him for a while.

She nods, 'I'll go and have a word with the agent.'

She tentatively draws her hand out from below his, watching his face the whole time for signs that she is disturbing his sleep, but his steady breathing doesn't falter. She smoothes the hair from his forehead and bends to press her lips to his warm skin and then steps aside, making space for Martha to take her place. His mother smiles at her, and grasps her wrist momentarily before she slips into the seat. Alexis has pulled up a chair and holds his other hand. She doesn't look up as Kate leaves the room.

There's a dull ache in her back and her legs feel cramped and weak. Except for a single bathroom break, she has been maintaining her vigil for hours. She'd slept for short spells, curled forward so that her head was beside his bicep. She rolls her head from side to side and shrugs some of the tension out of her shoulders before pushing through the double doors to find Agent McCord waiting on the other side.

* * *

_13 hours earlier_

_McCord snapped on the handcuffs and shoved Parker's bound wrists roughly against his lower back._

'_The antidote, where is it?' Kate cried, checking his pockets. 'I can't find it.' _

_He stared stonily ahead, his lips pressed together._

'_An innocent man is about to die. He didn't do anything to you. He knew nothing about your fiancée until a few hours ago. Please, don't let my fiancé die too. Please,' she begged, unable to keep the desperation out of her voice._

_He closed his eyes and swallowed. 'Briefcase. It's in my briefcase.'_

'_Where?'_

'_On the couch.'_

'_Thank you.' _

_Kate ran back through the French doors and spotted the bag immediately. It contained a single item; an unmarked rectangular aluminium box. She fumbled with the catch, struggling to control her shaking fingers. There are four vials inside. Three held a yellow liquid and were marked with the international symbol for poison, the skull and crossbones. She reached for the fourth. A ladder of black lines was etched into one side of the glass marking increments of 10cc of the clear viscous liquid._

'_That's the one we need,' a male voice said and she glanced up to see a face that had become familiar in the last few hours. _

'_Dr Goldberg. Thank God!' she said putting it into his outstretched hand. _

_She'd called him from the car when icy fear had crept through her as Castle's grip on consciousness had faded. The doctor opened his own bag and removed a syringe, expertly ripping open the cellophane. He popped the lid on the vial with one hand and filled the syringe with the other before turning to Mrs Reid who was still lying on the floor being tended by a paramedic. _

'_No! Castle!' she shouted, grabbing his arm._

'_I've checked him, Agent Beckett. He's in better shape than Mrs Reid. Hold this.' _

_He handed her the open vial and dropped to one knee to inject the antidote into the vein that the paramedic had already prepared. _

'_Come on,' he said to Kate, exchanging the used syringe for a fresh one. _

_He set a fast pace through the house to the driveway and she struggled to keep up, aware that Castle's life depended on her hold on the little bottle. _

_He was on a gurney, an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose, and her breath stuttered as she saw the dark red blotches on his pallid skin. One of his arms fell from the stretcher and just hung for a moment until the paramedic lifted it and folded it across his chest. She froze. How many times had she seen the same thing happen with a corpse?_

'_You can let go now,' Dr Goldberg said gently, prising the vial from her fingers._

'_He doesn't like needles,' she said, stepping up to take his limp hand._

'_Well then he's been very brave today and I'm pretty sure he won't notice this one,' he said, sinking the needle into the vein in the crook of Castle's elbow._

'_Excuse me, ma'am. We need to get him to hospital now.' _

_The blue clad paramedic elbowed her out of the way and __Kate stepped back, watching them load him into the ambulance._

'_Will he be okay?' she asked the doctor who was recapping the vial._

'_It's not instantaneous, Agent Beckett. It's not like in the movies. We'll know for sure in a few hours.'_

_They weren't the words she'd been hoping to hear but she nodded, grateful for his honesty, moving to follow Castle into the ambulance but a young female paramedic blocked her entrance._

'_I'm sorry. You'll need to take your own transport, ma'am,' she said._

'_You don't understand. He's my fiancé.'_

'_There's no space. We've got a second patient,' she said with a toss of her blonde head towards the house._

_Kate turned to see another gurney on the drive._

'_Oh. Right.' _

_She walked backwards to get out of the way. She'd forgotten all about Mrs Reid. She knew nothing of the woman. She might be the sweetest, kindest person in the world or an absolute bitch but probably the answer lay somewhere in between. Whatever she was, right now, even though she knew it was ridiculous, Kate resented her. Castle had had to wait for his antidote because of her. Everything Kate had done in the last day had been geared to finding the antidote for the man that she loved and Mrs Bloody Reid had not only had the first dose, she was now taking her place in the ambulance. She watched as the doors were slammed shut and the vehicle started to draw away before she was spurred into action, running after it down the driveway._

'_Wait! I don't know where you're taking him,' she shouted. _

'_St Joseph's,' McCord called from behind her. 'Come on. I'll drive.'_

* * *

_The ambulance was out of sight by the time they joined the quiet, tree-lined road. No houses were visible from the street, only protective gates set in high security walls indicated that anyone lived there at all. But Kate didn't notice. She could hear the siren somewhere ahead and that was the only thing she was focussed on._

'_It's not far,' McCord said, with a glance in her direction._

_Kate simply nodded. _

'_How's he doing?'_

'_Don't know yet.' She gnawed at her lip._

'_Is there anyone you should call?'_

'_Um… Yeah. Yes, Martha. I need to tell his mother and daughter.'_

_Kate pulled her phone from her pocket and tapped contacts, scrolling through to find the loft. She stared down at the picture of Castle on the screen and her thumb hovered over the number before darting up to the top left corner to press search. She typed in a few letters and immediately pressed the number that came up._

'_Espo, it's me.'_

'_Kate. What's going on?'_

'_Javi, listen. I need you to go see Martha.'_

'_Why? Has something happened to Castle?'_

'_He…' Her voice cracked and she closed her eyes._

'_Kate?'_

'_Put it on speaker, Kate,' McCord said and she did as she was told, holding the phone flat on her palm._

'_Javi, is it? This is Agent McCord. I'm Kate's partner. Can you tell me who you are?'_

'_Is she okay? Castle's not… Is he…'_

'_He's on his way to hospital. I'm following with Agent Beckett. You are…?'_

'_Detective Esposito. Javier. I used to work with Kate. She's my friend. They both are. What's going on?'_

_McCord gave him a concise summary, sanitised of highly classified information, adding, 'Agent Beckett would like you to talk to his mother.' She glanced at Kate who nodded._

'_She needs to come, Javi. Alexis too,' Kate said._

'_Ryan and I are on our way to the loft now. You stay strong girl.'_

'_Thanks,' she murmured, disconnecting the call._

* * *

_The car lurched to a stop directly behind the now empty ambulance and Kate leapt out. She ran into the ER, following the group that had gathered around Castle. Patients and staff stepped back to let them pass before closing the space behind them and returning to their own concerns. The two gurneys were wheeled straight past the reception desk. Mrs Reid was pushed to the right and Castle into a cubicle on the left. A nurse drew the curtains closed behind him but Kate pressed through._

'_You need to wait outside,' the nurse said._

'_I'm his fiancée. He's mine.' _

_She craned to see around the man but he blocked her view with his face, forcing Kate to look at him._

'_It'll just be a few minutes. The doctor needs to check him and while that's happening we need you to give us some details,' he said, compelling Kate backwards through the curtain as he edged forward. _

'_Barbara, can you get this patient's details please? He's an emergency admission.' _

_A woman in a grey skirt suit stepped towards them, weaving past a drunk who was yelling obscenities at a doctor. Her pepper and salt hair was drawn back into a tight bun and she carried a clipboard but it was her eyes that Kate noticed, deep brown, heavy lidded and brimful of empathy. Kate wondered if that's what had got her the job. _

'_Let's find somewhere quiet, my dear,' she said, taking Kate by the elbow and leading her out of the hubbub to a family room. _

'_I shouldn't go far,' Kate said, trying to twist out of her grip._

'_He'll be in there for a while. Don't worry, I just want a few details. Your husband?' she asked, glancing at Kate's ringless hand. _

'_Fiancée,' she said, her hand finding her rings through her shirt. _

_She sat on the edge of the seat that Barbara indicated, uncomfortable that her back was to the door, and tugged the chain free, slipping it over her head. She undid the clasp and slid the diamond on to her trembling finger._

'_It's beautiful. Have you been engaged long?'_

_Kate shook her head. 'Two months.'_

'_But you've been together a while?'_

_Kate stopped herself as she was about to say a year because that was just the tip of the iceberg that was there relationship._

'_Five years. He's been in my life for five years,' she bit down hard on her bottom lip to still the tremor before it became more, attempting to turn her head to see back to the cubicle._

'_I'll keep an eye out and let you know if anything happens. What's your fiancé's name?'_

* * *

_Kate waited impatiently as Castle was transferred to the bed. The two nurses rolled him one way then the other, removing the wrinkled sheet from under him and settling him into the cool clean linen. They'd removed his clothes and dressed him in a blue hospital gown that would bring out the colour of his eyes if they were open but they were firmly closed. His face was immobile and pasty but she was thankful to see that the angry red splotches had faded. She leant against the door, her restless hands trapped behind her back, as she watched them line up the monitor and check that the electrodes were still in place on his chest. The cannula in the back of his hand was secured with sterile tape and one of the nurses rolled the drip stand to the head of the bed. _

_While the nurses ensured that everything was as it should be, a white-haired doctor stood at the foot of the bed checking his charts. He murmured some instructions to one of the nurses and then directed his attention to Kate._

'_Miss Beckett, I'm Dr Thomas. I'm looking after your fiancé. I should tell you that I'm not familiar with the toxin with which he's been infected but Dr Goldberg is and he'll be consulting on Mr Castle's case. His body has been put through a great deal of stress but so far he's doing well and I'm hopeful that he'll make a full recovery. We'll take bloods every two hours to check how he's getting on. The only other thing we can do is wait for him to wake up. The duty nurse will call me if there are any concerns. I'll be in to check on him regularly.'_

'_How long until he wakes, Doctor?' she asked, moving past him to take Castle's hand in her own. _

'_It might be three or four hours or it could be longer. If you leave your telephone number with the duty nurse, she'll call you when he does.'_

_She shook her head. 'I'm not going anywhere.'_

'_I thought not,' he nodded, 'try to get some sleep. I'll see you in a couple of hours.'_

* * *

_Martha bustled in at 2am, closely followed by Alexis._

'_Richard! Oh my poor boy,' she cried, stepping up to the bed and bending to kiss his head._

'_Dad!' Alexis took his hand, tears welling in her blue eyes._

'_You're here. Thank heavens,' Kate said. 'He's doing better than he looks. The doctor has just been in. His latest blood tests show that everything is returning to normal. He should wake up soon.' _

_The words tumbled out of her mouth nervously. She wouldn't have been surprised if his family held her responsible for what had happened but Martha confounded her expectations, coming around the bed to pull her from the chair and into her arms._

'_Oh you poor girl. When I think what you must have been through.' _

_She held her tight and Kate felt a wave of relief sweep over her. She'd been feeling so alone in the dark hospital but now the two other people in the world who meant so much to him were here. _

'_I'm so sorry, Martha,' she mumbled into the older woman's hair, the tears that she'd kept in check all day threatening to spill over._

_Martha's hug tightened. 'Katherine, this is not your fault. I know that Richard was sticking his nose into your case and that you'd told him not to. And I also know that you'd never put him in danger. If he'd done as he ought… But the important thing now is that he gets better.'_

_Kate nodded into her hair, unable to speak because of the constriction in her throat. _

'_He's going to be alright, isn't he?' Alexis asked in a small voice and the two older women pulled apart._

'_The doctor said he'll be fine, Alexis.' Kate reached across the bed to give her hand a squeeze._

_The eyes that looked up to meet hers were questioning and fearful._

'_I promise,' added Kate and the girl managed a shaky smile._

'_I'll do some healing Reiki on him.' _

_Kate turned confused eyes towards the shaggy haired man who was leaning on the back of one of the chairs. She took in his t-shirt and over-sized grey cardigan and the moustache that he looked too young for. He didn't look like a member of the medical staff but she couldn't imagine who else he might be._

'_Kate, this is Pi,' said Alexis. _

'_Oh, right. Castle mentioned you. Hi... er... Pi.'_

'_So, shall I begin?' _

_Kate opened her eyes wide and turned to Martha, who raised her brows and shrugged._

'_If…um…' Kate looked to Alexis for help._

'_He's really good. Thank you Pi, that would be great.'_

_He rubbed his hands together and Kate watched in trepidation as he came to stand beside Alexis and held both hands out, palms down, a little above Castle. To Kate's relief he neither touched Castle nor did he speak and, for the first time in more than a day, she wanted to smile. She could just imagine how her fiancé would react if he were able. The one thing missing from the scene was the horrified look she knew he would have on his face and the absence of that was the only thing that prevented her from laughing. She looked forward to telling him what he had missed. She just needed him to wake up. She settled back in her chair, ignoring Pi's ministrations, and resumed her self-imposed watching brief. She was vaguely aware that Martha and Alexis found their own positions from which to wait for him to rejoin them._

* * *

_She woke with a start when something brushed her arm. _

'_Sorry. I tried not to wake you but I need to change the bag,' the nurse whispered with an apologetic grimace._

'_S'okay,' Kate murmured, and she eased her chair forward to allow the woman to pass behind her to get to the stand. _

_Castle was in the same position, propped up to ease his breathing. His colour was better and she stroked the back of her fingers across his cheek, glad that his skin felt warm and dry._

_There was no sign of Martha but Alexis was asleep in one of the easy chairs, her head on Pi's shoulder. His head had flopped back and his mouth hung open. It wasn't the most flattering pose but Kate smiled at his arm around the girl's shoulders. She was glad that Alexis had someone to rely on right now even if Castle didn't approve of him. Martha came back in holding two polystyrene cups, passing the nurse in the doorway._

'_I thought you'd probably wake. This is definitely not up to Richard's standards but it's warm and wet,' she said, offering one of the cups to Kate. _

_She took in her left hand and had a sip. _

'_Thanks, Martha. Have I been asleep long?'_

'_Not nearly long enough. Why don't you stretch out for a bit on a soft chair? He won't disappear if you let go of his hand you know.'_

_Kate just shook her head, a fleeting smile passing over her face as her eyes raked over his features and Martha let out a resigned sigh before taking her own advice._

* * *

_The three women waited for Dr Thomas to finish his checks. The sun was up and Castle still hadn't woken. Kate had had to give up her place to allow the doctor to do his work and she missed the weight of Castle's hand in hers. She chewed on her lip, worried that the toxin may have done some permanent damage. Martha held her forearm with her left hand and Alexis' hand with her right, striving, Kate was sure, to give them all strength. The doctor gave some instructions to the two nurses and turned to the women. Kate felt weak with relief when she saw that he was smiling._

'_Well ladies, it all looks very good. I've discussed his latest blood results with Dr Goldberg and we both agree that he's out of the woods. It'll take a few days for him to get his strength back but I don't think there's any need for you to worry.'_

'_But when will he wake up?' Alexis demanded._

'_He's responding to stimuli so he's sleeping rather than unconscious. His body is doing the sensible thing. Sleep is essential for proper recovery. That said, I think we'd all like to see him a bit more aware. I suggest that you talk to him now. That'll help him wake up. He'll be groggy for a while but that's normal.' _

'_That's typical of my son. He's never been an early riser. Thank you, Doctor,' Martha said, releasing the two girls to shake his hand._

'_It's a pleasure. He's a lucky man to have three lovely ladies and er…' he looked at Pi who was sitting crossed legged on the floor meditating, 'and…um… to wake up to. You, young lady, need to get some proper rest yourself,' he added looking at Kate._

'_I've been telling her that all night.'_

'_Thanks for everything, Dr Thomas,' Kate said, ignoring his advice as they all knew that she would and taking her seat again._

'_Castle,' she said, quietly, 'it's time to wake up now, Rick.'_

_The doctor and Martha exchanged knowing glances before he left the room._

'_Castle,' Kate persisted, stroking his cheek. _

_Her eyes didn't leave his face as she continued to patiently murmur to him. It was a few more minutes before his fingers returned the pressure of hers and his eyelids fluttered open. He was back._

* * *

'That's what partners do.' Kate repeats McCord's words to herself looking back in the direction of Castle's room.

They'd been partners for five years. Five years of looking out for each other and having each other's back. Now she had a new partner but where did that leave Castle. Who has his back now?

She makes her way slowly along the corridor. Pi has disappeared but Martha and Alexis are sitting sentinel either side of him and both make a move to give up their place to her. Kate is surprised to see a new warmth in Alexis eyes as she looks at her.

'He woke up for a few minutes. He told us that you saved his life,' she says.

'Oh, I missed it,' she says, focussing only on the first part of the girl's sentence, unable to hide her disappointment.

'Don't worry, darling. He was more aware this time. I'm sure he'll be wide awake very soon,' Martha says, standing so that Kate can return to her post.

'It's okay, Martha. You stay there. I'll be fine…'

Her words are cut off when his mother engulfs her in her arms.

'Thank you, Katherine. Without you he…' Her voice wavers and Kate returns her embrace.

'No, Martha, he saved himself. He came up with the leads. I just followed them up.'

Martha takes her shoulders and holds her a few inches away from her, her eyes watery and sincere.

'That's what makes you so good together. You're there for each other. He gets into trouble and you get him out.'

Kate shakes her head. 'Works both ways.'

'I know. You two seem to spend most of your time saving each other.' Martha kisses her cheek and releases her and Kate is drawn back to her chair.

Yeah, that's what they'd been doing for years but her decision to take this job has changed that permanently. She takes his hand again, gently tracing the edge of the bruise. Her reverie is broken by Pi noisily pushing the door open.

'Hey, Agent B, you're back. I got us all drinks.'

'Thank you, Pi, that's really kind,' she says looking forward to a decent coffee.

'It's delicious nettle tea. Organic. It'll renew your energy.'

'Oh, right. That's… Wow.'

She widens her eyes and bites the inside of her cheek because she really thinks she might laugh out loud. She wills Castle to wake. She needs to share this with him.

**Thank you for reading and for your reviews, follows and kindness for the first chapter. I'm not promising a follow up or filler to every episode. Depends ****whether inspiration strikes. Let me know what you think. xx**


	3. Chapter 3

Dreamworld 2: Nettle Tea

'Nettle tea? Beckett, what did you do with it?' Castle's demands, his delight at the thought of his caffeine loving fiancée being offered sludge-green organic liquid when she was expecting – and in need of – her coffee, evident in his dancing blue eyes.

'Apparently it's a great energiser and tastes as good cold as hot.'

'Bet that's not saying much.'

'So I kept it for you,' Kate says picking up a take-out cup from the floor and offering it him.

'What? I'm not drinking that!' He shuffles up the bed away from the offending cup.

The transformation of his expression from joy to horror is exquisite and she throws her head back, releasing a bark of laughter, before taking a sip of her coffee.

'You are so easy, Castle,' she laughs.

'So you've been telling for the last five years. What did you really do with it?'

And he really wants to know. She loves that his curiosity stretches to these tiny details of life.

'It was tricky. I didn't want to offend him.'

'Why not?'

'He's not that bad. He means well.'

'Really? I'd rather drink military grade toxin than…'

'Castle!'

'Too soon?'

His wide eyes convey innocence and she shakes her head. His ability to see the humour in even the most desperate situations still amazes her. She says nothing; just flicks her head to the right and his eyes follow, turning enquiringly back to hers. She does the same thing again, opening her eyes wider in the effort to convey her meaning. He looks again, more searchingly this time.

'The plant?'

She nods.

'You know that when, in two months time, sick patients and selfless doctors are covered in nettle rash it'll be your fault, right?'

She shrugs and her happiness in their ridiculous exchange bubbles into a wide but crooked smile that is by limited by swelling that has spread across her left cheek and along her brow bone. He reaches out to gently brush the livid red mark that is rapidly turning purple.

'That's a hell of a shiner.'

'Totally worth it. Pi is so impressed.'

He rolls his eyes but they are sorrowful and she turns her face to playfully nip his finger with her teeth. He pulls it away with an exaggerated 'ouch' and brushes her bottom lip with his knuckle.

'He's convinced that his healing Reiki is responsible for your recovery, you know.'

'His what?'

'Reiki. Don't you remember? He told you.'

'He did?'

'When you first woke up.'

He shakes his head and she wonders if he recalls much of the morning at all. He drifted in and out of sleep for over two hours before waking properly and she can see from his puffy eyes that he's getting tired again.

'He passed his healing energy to you through his hands.'

'What? Where?' he says, pulling up the sheets to his chin and peering down the length of his body.

'Everywhere.'

'And you let him? You're supposed to protect me. Especially defenceless, poisoned, unconscious me.' His voice rises an octave and she laughs again.

'It's okay, Castle. He didn't touch. Well, not much.'

He looks horrified and she loves it - loves him – and she has to lean forward to gently kiss his lips. She closes her eyes as he kisses her back, feeling his smile against her mouth.

'Oops! Have I come back too soon?' Martha asks.

'Yes!' Castle replies as they pull apart and Kate lightly smacks his cheek.

'Come on in, Martha,' she says, smiling at her mother-in-law to be, who is standing in the doorway looking delighted to have caught them kissing.

'I bought you the things you wanted, Richard. Pi suggested that we go to the charity shop but I found Armani. I thought you'd prefer new underwear.'

He shudders theatrically and Kate laughs again. She's hardly stopped smiling since he woke. Her happiness at having him back is overwhelming.

'And for yourself?' he asks.

'Oh well, just a little scarf and a handbag and a few little things,' she says, wafting her hand dismissively. 'The kids have taken the shopping back to the hotel.'

'You've let Alexis go to a hotel alone with Pi?' he asks, his jaw dropping.

'Darling, what do you think they can do in a hotel room that they haven't already done in the jungle?'

'Mother! Please!' He closes his eyes and Kate gives his hand a reassuring squeeze knowing that this time his distress is genuine.

'What did that gorgeous Dr Thomas say?' Martha asks.

'He said that I'm fine.'

'He should be back any minute to do a final check and then we should be good to go,' Kate clarifies.

'Are you sure you don't want to come to the hotel with us? You need to get some sleep yourself, Katherine.'

'I can sleep in the apartment, Martha.' She realises that she doesn't say home but she's too wrapped up in everything else to question why.

'Kate, maybe we should spend a night in the hotel,' Castle says, tugging her shirt sleeve to get her to look at him.

She shakes her head. They've talked about this and he wants the normality of the apartment after the madness of the last couple of days but she can see that his mother's words have made him worry if that's best for her.

'No, Rick. We'll be fine,' she says and he nods agreement.

* * *

'Shhh, Kate. It's okay, honey. Shhh!'

She wakes disoriented and it takes her a moment to get her bearings. She's in bed, cocooned in Castle's arms, not kneeling on the lawn in front of the Defence Secretary's house, holding his lifeless body in her arms.

His finger ghosts over her cheek because the tears are real.

'It's okay, Kate. It was just a bad dream. We're here together and we're fine.'

She squashes her face into his chest and lets the tears flow. Because she nearly lost him and she can't even begin to imagine what that would be like. He tightens his arms around her and buries his face in her hair and she feels his chest heave and she knows that he's crying too.


	4. Chapter 4

Need to Know: Therapy, Stage 1

McCord takes a couple of steps into the room and Castle stays where he is. He doesn't shut the door or offer her a drink. He'll take his lead from Kate but he knows that she won't want to encourage Rachel to hang around. She flies back to DC in the morning and they need to talk about details. He wants them to go through the threshold of the new apartment together so that from the very first day it's their place. Not him moving in with her or her with him. His eyes have drifted to the floor as he waits for the chastisement that McCord is about to deliver to Kate. His fiancée is a mature woman who makes her own decisions and lives with the consequences and she's not a stranger to a telling off from her superiors. Nobody knows better than he just how headstrong she can be, particularly when something offends her sense of justice. He wonders if she might be suspended for a week or so. He doesn't wish it on her but he has to admit that the thought of a few extra days together is appealing.

'I'm here to tell you you're fired.'

His head snaps up. His shock is mirrored in Kate's wide eyes. Fired! You don't fire Kate Beckett. She's the person who walks away. Not the other way round.

McCord continues, her tone conversational, as if she's just told Kate she takes her coffee black.

'I'll clear your desk in the morning. Let me know when you'll be at your apartment and I'll drop off your stuff. I'll need your badge and security pass. And, of course, your gun.'

When Kate doesn't move she adds, 'Now.'

Kate lifts her hand to her mouth. The key that he'd just given to her is still gripped between her fingers and she turns disbelieving eyes to him, as if he might be about to tell her not to worry because it's all a misunderstanding. Two long strides take him to her side and he turns to look down at McCord, his eyebrows drawn together, etching deep furrows in his forehead.

'Hey, that's a bit brutal, isn't it? She can't even pick up her stuff?'

She shakes her head. 'That's the way it works.'

'It's okay, Castle.'

Kate's voice is barely audible. She absently rubs the key down the bridge of her nose and then touches his arm fleetingly before she turns towards the bedroom. He shifts from one foot to the other, knowing that he's powerless to make this better but wishing he could think of something

'Isn't there anything you can do? You said yourself she's one of the best,' he says as Kate disappears from view.

'It's not up to me.'

'But can't you talk to someone?'

'The decision has been made and it's the right decision.'

His eyes narrow and his mouth becomes a thin line. He'd thought that this woman had become Kate's friend but it seems he was wrong.

'Castle, Kate's good. She got all the right skills and in some ways she's the perfect fit for the unit but she can't leave things alone. She's got to know the whole story and get justice. Those are good qualities for a homicide detective, a human rights lawyer, maybe even a writer, but not for a Federal Agent. What we do is rarely tidy. We get instructions and we follow them. We don't ask why. Sometimes people go unpunished and she can't alter that. If she stayed, she'd have to change and you and I both know that's not going to happen. As her friend, I don't want that to happen.'

He shakes his head. On some level he knows she's right. The little Kate has told him about her cases has left him feeling uneasy. At some point a confrontation was inevitable but he never imagined that this would be it.

'You're wrong. She's not good. She's exceptional and remarkable and honest and fierce, and if the people you answer to can't see that then they don't deserve her.'

McCord leans her head to one side to peer around him and he turns to see Kate walking towards them, her gun, badge and pass sandwiched between her hands.

She looks more composed and the hands she stretches out to Rachel are steady but he notices that her jaw is working the way it does when she feels unsure of herself.

McCord stows the badge and pass in her pockets and tucks the gun into a spare holster at her hip. She's come prepared.

'I've enjoyed working with you, Kate. Don't be a stranger.'

'I can come by the office?'

Rachel shakes her head. 'No. Maybe we can catch a drink when you're in DC. Bye.'

She smiles and heads back out into the corridor and Castle is glad that she doesn't prolong the farewell.

'Bye,' Kate says automatically.

He shuts the door, leaning his back against it, searching Kate's face to try to judge how she's taking this.

'Castle, did that just happen? Did I really get fired?' she asks.

He grimaces and she covers her face with her hands. He moves away from the door and locks her in a hug. Her hands slide down between them and wrap around his waist and she turns her head so that her face is resting on his chest. They stay like that for a minute, maybe two, until she moves her hands to his hips and he loosens his hold, allowing her room. He's relieved to see that her cheeks are dry but the vulnerability in her eyes makes his stomach lurch and he drops a tender kiss on to the top of her head. She pats his chest and he immediately releases her when he feels her edge away. He'll give her whatever she needs, whether it's space or cosseting. He starts with wine, topping up her glass with her favourite red and his own with white. She's prowling back and forth between his office door and the middle of the room, restlessly raking her fingers through her hair. She stops walking when he offers her the wine and she takes a gulp, handing the glass back to him before resuming her stalking.

'I guess it was inevitable they wouldn't be happy if they found out,' he says.

'I didn't think I'd get caught,' she says.

'That sounds like something I'd say.'

She rolls her eyes and her lips twitch up in an almost grin before the worry returns to her face and she gnaws on her knuckle.

'Maybe you could talk to Avery or Stack,' he suggests but she shakes her head.

'I've learned how they work. There's no way they'll change their minds. They'll never take me back. I've blown it.'

'They've blown it.'

'I don't think they see it like that,' she says with a rueful grin. She stops in front of him, taking her glass back.

'Thank you.'

'I've got an ulterior motive. I know what this particular wine does to you.'

Her smile widens for a moment and she shakes her head.

'Hmm. Thank you for that too but that's not what I meant.'

'For being a bad influence?'

'I heard what you said to McCord.'

'I meant every word.'

'I know you did. I'm sorry, Castle.'

He puts his glass down and takes her shoulders, making her look him in the eyes.

'Hey, I'm proud of you. You stood up for what you know is right. You wouldn't be you if you didn't do that.'

She shakes her head. 'I'm not sorry I did it. I'm sorry about the apartment.'

She digs her fingers into her jeans pocket and pulls out the key, sighing as she gives it back to him.

He shrugs. 'I can cancel the contract.'

'It'll be expensive.'

It's his turn to roll his eyes.

'It was a lovely thing to do. It would have been great to come home to you every night.'

'You can do that in New York instead. To me… and my mother and Alexis... and Pi,' he says, squeezing his eyes shut and wrinkling his nose.

She laughs and he opens his eyes. God, he loves her. Her eyes drop away and she chews her lip.

'What will I do?'

'You can do anything you want, Kate. Anything. Take your time. You don't need to make any hasty decisions.'

She puts her wine down beside his and leans into him. He wraps her up in his arms, resting his chin on her luxuriant hair.

'I've never been fired. I don't know how to do this.'

He hugs her tighter, feeling her pain. His over-achieving fiancée has never failed. She was, he knows from her dad, always top of her class. She's never been less than an outstanding success.

'You know what you need?'

She looks up at him, her expression serious.

'Therapy.'

'Therapy? I don't think I need to see Dr Burke because I got fired,' she says, frowning at him.

'Not that sort of therapy. You need help from a rejection therapist.'

'A rejection therapist?'

'An expert in rejection. Someone who's been thrown out of almost every school in New York and who has evidence of his failures hanging on his walls.'

Her frown disappears and she smiles up at him.

'Do you have someone in mind?'

'I do and we need to begin straight away.'

'We do?'

'We do!'

He releases her and picks up their wine glasses.

'The first step is to drink lots of this and see where that leads us.'

She beams up at him.

'I like the sound of this therapy.'

He takes her arm and leads her back to snuggle up on the couch. He knows that they've got a long road to negotiate before she can get back on an even keel but he'll navigate it with her. For now he's just happy that she's smiling.


	5. Chapter 5

Therapy: Stage 2

Kate wakes from her fitful sleep to the weight of Castle's arm draped around her and the warmth of his body against her back. The bedroom is bathed in the golden glow of dawn. They'd sat up late, talking some of the time but mostly not. Long after midnight, he'd led her to bed and, sensitive to her needs as only he is, he'd simply held her close. When sleep wouldn't come, he'd lain awake too until she pretended to doze off so that at least he could get some rest. The sound of his regular breathing and the feel of the tension leaving him had helped her to relax, even if sleep had remained elusive for much of the night. She rolls on to her back, careful not to wake him and he settles again, tugging her closer, his face edging a half an inch nearer to her on the pillow that they share and she can feel his warm breath on her cheek.

As she watches the dust motes dancing in the soft sunlight, she lets her thoughts drift but it's not losing her job that troubles her. It's the same terror that has come unbidden in the lonely hours of the night ever since that day when she nearly lost him just a few weeks ago. She closes her eyes in an effort to block the image of him falling to the lawn in the Defence Secretary's front garden, trying to banish the what ifs that won't leave her alone. What if she'd been too late? What if she had failed him? She hugs the arm that lies across her chest. It's heavy and warm and he's here. Comforted, her mind jumps back to Rachel McCord's words.

She's still reeling from the shock. She wanted that job in DC. She wanted to spread her wings and prove to herself she could do more. She wanted to make a difference. She has always defined herself by her work, whether it was with NYPD or the Attorney General's Office. If she's not a police officer or a federal agent what is she? This is where she should feel the panic rising but it doesn't happen. Yes, she's upset and disappointed that she has been fired from her dream job but her thoughts aren't spiralling out of control and she knows why.

She turns her head to look at him and his breath warms her lips. He looks younger like this, more like he did when they first met. New lines have appeared on his face in the last few years and she wonders with a pang just how many are because of her. He'd grounded her last night as he's been doing for years. She has others who care about her; her father, Lanie, her work brothers. They would have listened to her, sympathised, offered advice. But he's the only one who really gets her. The only one who ever has.

He knew when to hold her and when to give her space. He listened silently when she needed that and made her laugh when she didn't think anything could. He is so attuned to her that she thinks he might know her better than she does herself.

And she gets him too. She sees the sensitivity and kindness that is so at odds with his public persona. She knows the selflessness that had him give her a key that said as much about his commitment to them as the ring on her finger. For months she'd been dreaming about coming home to him every night but she'd never have asked him to leave New York for her. It was too much to expect. So they'd struggled through long separations and the frustration of video calls that were great while they lasted but always left her feeling even further away from him. And it suddenly hits her; she's more disappointed that they won't share their DC apartment than she is that she's lost her job.

She smiles as she maps his face with her eyes. She might not be sure exactly who she is without a job but she's not completely rudderless. Because thanks to this funny, ridiculous, sensitive, gorgeous man, she knows that she's more than a job. She feels a surge of gratitude to him and an accompanying rush of desire. She should leave him sleep but she's confident that he won't object to an early morning wake-up call. After all, they've got a lot of catching up to do.

She rolls towards him, sliding her leg over his and teasing her fingers inside the waist-band of his boxers into the soft hair that tufts at the small of his back. His breath hitches and his eyelids flutter. She licks her lips and presses them to his, nipping at his bottom lip and his eyes snap open

'Good morning,' she murmurs, grinning as his eyes widen, his pupils contracting to reveal his deep blue irises before they dilate again with the instant desire that has him hardening against her.

'Hmmm, isn't it just,' he hums, his fingers burrowing into the gap between her t-shirt and sleep shorts.

'I was just thinking…'

'I think I know what you were thinking.'

'I was just thinking that maybe I'm ready for stage 2 of therapy.'

'Hmm, shouldn't your therapist make that decision?'

'I think making decisions is part of my therapy.'

She captures his mouth with hers again, winding her leg around the back of his to ease herself even closer.

It's slow and tender and almost reverential and afterwards she falls into a deep sleep with her head on his chest and her hand on his broad shoulder.

* * *

When she next wakes a harsher light fills the room and she's alone. She reaches for the clock is shocked to see it's almost midday. She pulls on her bathrobe and goes in search of him almost turning back when she opens the door. The clatter of plates and cheerful chatter telling her that his family are back from their yoga retreat.

'Hey, Agent B. Oops. I...er... I mean…' Pi stutters, and she knows Castle's told them.

'Kate, Pi. Just Kate.'

He's making a mess in the kitchen as he does every time she's here. Maybe fruitarians need to eat all day - like cows. The more time she spends with Pi, the more she understands Castle's irritation with him, but she won't tell him that. He doesn't need any more encouragement to dislike the young man and she's beginning to worry that his attitude will affect his relationship with his daughter.

'Hi Kate. Do you want some prune butter on celery sticks? It's really good,' says Alexis, popping up from behind the kitchen counter with a stack of plates in her hands.

'Er, thanks but… um… Is your father around?'

'Office,' she says, her smile fading and she wonders what domestic drama she's slept through.

'Katherine, darling. You poor thing.'

Martha wafts down the stairs and pulls her into a firm hug

'Morning, Martha.'

When the older woman releases her, she wraps her robe more securely around herself, tying the belt in a knot, suddenly very aware that she is naked underneath. She includes all three of them in her smile, quickly heading to the closed door of the office.

* * *

He's leaning back in his chair with his laptop on his knees and she thinks he must be writing.

'Hey.'

'Kate! Thank God you're awake. You have to save me. They're driving me mad.'

He puts the laptop on the desk and gets up to envelop her in his arms. She hugs him back, shaking her head affectionately at his drama queen act as they separate.

'What's happened, Castle?' she asks. sitting on his desk as he drops back into his chair.

'They came back.'

She raises her brows waiting for more.

'That's it?' she asks, when he doesn't continue.

'Isn't that enough? They're everywhere. And Pi's making something disgusting with prunes and I need you to take me away.'

'Brunch?' she says, not adverse to some one to one time with her fiancé.

'That's a start. Then we could move on to Bora Bora.'

'After brunch?'

'Tomorrow morning. I was checking flights. Or somewhere else. Wherever you want to go. It's stage 3 of your therapy.'

'_My_ therapy is sounding a lot like _your_ therapy.'

'_Our_ therapy and you should be grateful. You really haven't completed stage 2 yet and I'm letting you move on to stage 3 on the understanding that you have to do a lot more work on stage 2.'

'In Bora Bora?'

'Or Antigua, or Hawaii, or…'

'Bora Bora,' she says with a decisive nod.

'Yeah?' His face lights up.

'Yes. We didn't get there for your birthday so we're owed it. Book the tickets.'

His face creases into his widest smile and his fingers start working the keyboard.

'I think we need to keep repeating stage 2 until we get it right,' she says, shifting her position and letting the robe drop open to reveal her long, tanned legs.

'You don't think we got it right?' He pauses to look up at her.

'I think we were perfect but I need more data.'

'How much more?'

'Oh, a lot more. For the sake of a proper scientific study.'

She runs her teeth slowly over her bottom lip, fuelling his fingers to work faster.

**Thank you so much for your reviews and follows. I'm travelling again from tomorrow and I won't see the next couple of episodes until I get back. I may write fillers for them. What do you think? Please keep telling me whether or not you like what I'm writing. You know how insecure we writers are... Your love and interest is my fuel. xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**I came back from my travels to three episodes of Castle. How ****wonderful is that? Here's a little add-on for Time Will Tell. I haven't watched Get a Clue yet so I'm going to do that now. Please let me know what you think.**

Time Will Tell

Kate dips her foot through the bubbles, pulling her leg back sharply when her big toe touches the water. Too hot. She sighs impatiently and turns on the cold faucet. She has everything prepared; the candles are flickering, her book, glass of wine and cell phone are on the chair that she's placed perfectly so that they she will only need to stretch out her hand to reach them and she's so ready to sink into the tub and let the warm water envelop her. She's been looking forward to this bath since they wrapped the case, eager to stretch out and slide down until her shoulders are submerged. She rolls her head from left to right and right to left, feeling the discomfort in her right shoulder blade where it took the brunt of the force when Ward smacked her onto the concrete floor. A glimpse in the mirror behind her reveals a vivid red splodge the size of a saucer that's beginning to marble with purple. Castle must be feeling the consequences of the encounter in the power station too though, unusually, he hadn't complained or shown off any battle wounds. Probably because he was having so much fun with the whole ludicrous time travel thing.

A smile plays around her lips as she tests the water with her hand, circulating it around the tub. This case had been a dream come true for Castle. He really wanted to believe that Ward and Doyle were from the future but her smile wavers when she remembers the photocopy of the coffee stained letter. No way is she ever going to tell him about that. It's got to be some sort of weird coincidence but he'll just take it and run around like it's evidence not only for time travel, but also proof that Santa really does live at the North Pole and that there are unicorns in the woods and we'll find them if we just look harder. She quite likes that idea but time travel? Really? Still, that coffee stain… No! She shakes her head to dislodge ridiculous doubts and turns off the faucet.

The water is perfect and she eases herself in, closing her eyes as it laps against his skin. She relaxes, letting the warmth sooth her for a full two minutes before she opens her eyes to reach for her red wine. She takes a slow sip and inhales deeply, regretting a little that she's not in Castle's deep spa bath where she can stretch her legs fully even when she slides right down so that the water reaches her neck, but she has to admit that it's relief to get away from the full house and the tension that's been building in the loft for weeks. She exchanges her glass for her book. It's Alex Conran's newest offering and she's got to admit it's good. Castle had been a little tetchy when he'd seen it on her nightstand but she'd told him that she could see that his influence had had a positive effect on his mentee but that he was nowhere near as good as her favourite writer. She reads half a page before her mind begins to drift back to the strange events of the day. Senator Beckett! As if she of all people would become involved in politics after all the dirty dealings she's witnessed. Then she loses herself in thoughts of having three children with Castle. It's not the first time she's let herself daydream about having kids though she'd never even considered it before she fell in love with Richard Castle. He'll be a great dad. He already is. That thought brings her back to reality and she hopes that he's had a more constructive conversation with Alexis and that they've managed to regain some of their equilibrium. She hates to see him so upset. She turns her attention back to her book only to be interrupted by her phone. A quick glance tells her it's not the precinct and she smiles as she swaps her book for the cell.

'Hey.'

'Hey,' her fiancé replies and she draws her knees up at the sound of his voice.

'You okay?' she asks when he doesn't say anything else.

'She's done it.'

'She's…' She hesitates for a moment, confused, then she realises. 'Oh, Castle. She's moved out?' she says, unable to keep concern for him out of her voice.

She hears him exhale and then a huff of agreement. He needs reassurance and comfort but she has none to offer so she says what she's thinking.

'I didn't know she was going so soon.'

'No,' is all he says and she hears a sniff, her eyes welling because she knows that he's crying.

'I'll come over.' She sits up and reaches for her towel.

'S'okay. You're in the tub, aren't you? You should relax.'

She leans her head on the chair, her heart lurching at the unmistakeable break in his voice.

'Rick…'

'I'm all right, Kate. I just needed to hear you,' he lies, 'I'll see you tomorrow.'

He hangs up and she leans back against the tub, ignoring the discomfort in her back as the bruise hits the cool ceramic. This is the one area of their relationship where she still feels on unstable ground. She wants to help but she doesn't know what she can do.

* * *

Castle pours himself another Scotch, this one even larger than the last. He lifts the half empty bottle and tips a bit more into the glass. It may not be helping but he is craving oblivion. It would be better than feeling as if his heart has been ripped out. He leans back in his office chair and closes his eyes. He hasn't moved since he talked to Kate. He wanted to say yes, please come, because he thinks that if he could find any comfort at all tonight it would be in her arms but that would be selfish. He's no company and he knows she's tired after her first case back at the precinct.

It's too soon for his little girl to move out. It's just too soon. He slams down the glass on the desk, sloshing whisky onto the outline for the next instalment of Nikki Heat's story that he'd been working on yesterday. The liquor seeps into the paper, and he watches as the ink on his spider diagram begins to bleed. He makes no effort to clean it up. Instead he drops his head into his hands and blinks back the tears he can feel stinging his eyes.

* * *

He smells her at the same moment he hears her. Vanilla and anise. It's the Jo Malone bath oil he'd given her. She slides her arm around his shoulders and he turns to her, burying his head into her stomach and wrapping his arms fiercely around her waist. He lets his tears fall, knowing that it's not manly but also knowing that she doesn't care. She strokes his hair with one hand, holding him tight to her with the other. She says nothing because she knows him so well. Platitudes will not sooth but her unconditional love helps as nothing else could. He takes what comfort he can from her, and when he's calmer he loosens his grip and turns his face up to look at her. She's in old grey track pants and her NYPD sweatshirt. She's wearing no make-up and her hair is tied in a messy bun, damp tendrils sticking to her cheeks. She's stunning and the love and understanding in her eyes accentuates their beauty. She wipes his cheek with the back of her thumb and smoothes his hair back before dipping down to press her lips to his forehead.

'Thank you,' he mouths, almost silently and she shakes her head as if to say it's nothing but to him it's everything.

'Have you eaten?' she asks.

'Not hungry.'

'Well I am. Come on.'

She steps back and reaches her hand out to him and he takes it, letting her lead him to the kitchen. They'll talk later. Maybe. But now she's here for him and that's all that matters.


	7. Chapter 7

**Picks up from the end of the end of Time will Tell and then jumps to:**

Like Father, Like Daughter

The refrigerator is less than half full and that's a sign. Castle is a shopper and a nurturer and feeding everyone is one of the ways he cares for those he loves. Admittedly Pi has taken over much of the cooking recently but that has just led to the kitchen being overstocked, Castle making little adjustment to his grocery purchasing despite the excess of fruit in the house. Kate feels the sting of guilt because she has taken the easy way out, avoiding the overcrowding and increasing tension in the loft by spending more time in her own apartment. She should have been here to support him.

She steals a glance at him. He's sitting on one of the kitchen stools, elbows on the counter drumming the tips of his fingers together. His eyes are unfocussed and brows drawn together, emphasising the deep furrows etched into his forehead. Her relief that he's no longer so emotional is tempered by the knowledge that he's worried and that the anger that's been suppressed by the shock of Alexis leaving will soon bubble to the surface. She hates it when he's angry with her and she's sure that Alexis must too, though she suspects that his daughter may be better equipped than she to ride it out. She sighs, wishing that life didn't have to be so complicated and he looks up at her.

'I'm sorry. I haven't been shopping for a couple of days. Can't you find anything to eat?' he says, and she has to grin.

'Seriously, Castle? Your refrigerator is like Dean and Deluca compared to mine. I'm spoiled for choice. What can I get you?'

He shakes his head, the vacant stare returning, and she bites her lip, reverting to her inspection of the fridge. There are eggs and cheese and a couple of slices of ham wrapped in some greaseproof paper. A foray into the vegetable chiller reveals some brown mushrooms and a red bell pepper that she adds to the rest of the ingredients on the counter.

Her eyes frequently dart in his direction as she washes and chops the pepper but his face is as immobile as a mask; the blink of his eyes the only visual evidence that he's with her. She pushes the eggs and a bowl towards him but he doesn't notice.

'Castle? Would you mind?'

'Huh?'

'Eggs. Would you beat them please?'

'Oh. Sure.'

He absentmindedly breaks the all six eggs into the bowl and beats them with a fork as she slices the mushrooms. The fork hits the side of the bowl with increasing speed and she glances up. His jaw is tense and his knuckles white.

'That's great,' she says, stilling his hand with hers before she has finished her job.

'Right,' he mumbles, resuming his blank contemplation.

She heats some butter in a pan and adds half the eggs. He pays no attention until she puts a plate in front of him, ignoring the shake of his head as she offers him a fork.

'I've been perfecting my omelettes, Castle. You have to taste.'

He nods and half-heartedly stabs at the edge of the omelette while she finishes cooking her own. He tries a bite when she sits opposite him his eyes widening in appreciation.

'This is good.'

'Don't sound so surprised!'

'No, I'm not but… it's so light.'

'My egg beater did a great job.'

He smiles at her and she beams back, delighted that she's managed to lift his mood for a while. She chats about the case, succeeding in rekindling his enthusiasm in time travel, but the cloud that Alexis has become remains with him all evening. He doesn't talk about it and she's glad of that, even though it's just a temporary respite. She's reluctant to risk the tightrope walk that she feels she has to navigate when it comes to his daughter.

* * *

'It's up to you to make your own history,' Lanie says.

Kate nods, wondering how her friend got so wise, biting her bottom lip.

'What?' Lanie cocks her head to one side.

Kate forces her hands deeper into her pockets and opens her mouth but she changes her mind.

'Nothing.'

'Kate Beckett, you do not _dare_ to nothing me!'

She crosses her arms under her bosom and narrows her eyes, and although Kate towers over her friend, she knows that has no choice.

'It's not just that she hasn't talked to me about the case… Look, forget it. I'm just being oversensitive.'

Lanie raises her eyebrows and her chin, defying Kate to try to get out of this now. It takes about thirty seconds for her to cave and she levers herself on to the work surface, preparing for a session.

'Nah, nah,' the Medical Examiner wags her finger and Kate gazes at her, her mouth agape in confusion.

'Lanie…'

'This is a bottle of wine talk. Give me a minute to change.'

* * *

Kate leads the way into her apartment, switching on the lights as she goes. She drops her jacket on a chair, and heads straight to the kitchen for a corkscrew for the bottle of red that they'd bought on the way. She notices Lanie's raised brows and she looks around, seeing her apartment through her friend's eyes. There are unpacked boxes stacked against the wall and she has yet to hang her paintings.

'Doesn't look like you're expecting to be here long, girl.'

'Yeah, well… I…' She ducks to look in a cupboard for plates, and then turns her back to reach for glasses.

'Why didn't you move straight into Castle's place when you got back anyway?' Lanie asks, spooning their take-out Thai onto the plates.

Kate shrugs. 'He didn't ask.'

'He didn't?' she says, her voice hitting the high notes of surprise.

'The loft was more than a little crowded, Lanie. It's no big deal.'

'Is that so?'

'I spend most of my time there anyway.'

'Even so…'

'It's not an issue,' she says firmly, and they sit at opposite ends of the couch and eat in silence until Lanie exchanges her empty plate for her full glass.

'So, tell me, what is the issue?'

Lanie waits patiently for her to finish her last mouthful of green curry, and Kate takes the time to consider the question. She has a sip of wine before answering.

'You know I told you about the disastrous dinner?'

Lanie nods.

'She didn't even invite me.'

'I'd say that you were lucky to be out of it.'

Kate sighs, restlessly twirling her wine glass in her hands.

'I know but… She wants her dad to accept her relationship with this boy that she's just met but she asked him to dinner without me. We're engaged, Lanie. We've been a couple for a year and a half and she's known me for five years but she chose not to invite me or – and I think this is worse – she didn't even think about asking me. What does that say about how she sees me? How can I possibly fit in to their family if she hardly acknowledges that I exist?'

'That must have made you mad.'

'No. No really, it didn't,' she hesitates, 'a little hurt perhaps.'

'What did Castle say?' Lanie asks gently, her dark eyes pools of sympathy.

'He didn't mention it.'

'But you told him how you felt?'

'I couldn't, Lanie. When it comes to Alexis he's... He's a different… him.'

'What?'

Lanie screws her nose up, puzzled, and Kate doesn't blame her. She's not even sure what she means herself. She takes another sip of wine and curls her legs up under her.

'He's… It's like he doesn't want to admit that she ever does wrong. I know that sounds ridiculous when he's so upset about her living with Pi and he is really mad about that, but fundamentally he believes that she's, well… perfect.'

'No he doesn't.'

'Lanie…'

'He doesn't and this thing with Pi proves it.'

Kate huffs. 'Okay, he knows she's not perfect but he wants her to be and woe betide anyone who says she's not.'

She rolls her eyes and takes a gulp of wine.

'Sounds like you've tried.'

'No. I wouldn't dare.' She shakes her head firmly.

'Why?'

'She's his daughter, Lanie. I'm not going to criticise her. Anyway, she is pretty much perfect.'

She doesn't mean to sound resentful but she hears it in her own voice.

'God, listen to me! I'm jealous of his daughter.'

She drains her glass and reaches for the bottle to refill it, topping up the ME's when she holds out her glass.

'Not jealous, Sweetie. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's tough being a stepmom and she…'

'Stepmom?' Kate gasps.

'Well that's what you're going to be.'

'Yeah, but stepmom sounds so…'

She leaves the sentence in mid-air and Lanie offers, 'Wicked?'

'No, but… invasive. Like, I don't know… Like I'm taking someone's place or taking away her father.'

'But you're not and Alexis knows that.'

'Does she?'

'She's a smart girl. She knows that you two are the real deal.'

'I'm not so sure.'

She closes her eyes, hoping it will help her get her thoughts in order. Lanie's hand on her arm brings her back to the present.

'Kate, do you remember what you were like at her age? I know that I thought my parents didn't know anything about anything and that I was always right. It's the time to be self-righteous and even arrogant. Most of us grow out of it and so will Alexis. She's probably feeling just the way you are. Wondering where she fits in now that her dad has you.'

Kate nods.

'That makes sense. So what do I do?' she says scooting closer to her friend, eager for her guidance.

'Damned if I know. I'd say for now we should just finish this bottle and see if you've got anything else worth drinking in this transient apartment,' Lanie says, replenishing their glasses.

* * *

Castle watches from across the bullpen as his daughter does the right thing. He can't hear their conversation but his involuntary intake of breath as Alexis opens her arms to his fiancée who instantly steps into the embrace, makes him realise just how much it means for him for these two women to be friends. The hug is brief and Kate says something as they release each other that has them both laughing. Alexis gives her a shy smile before turning to talk to Esposito and Ryan who'd been watching the scene from their desks with almost as much interest as he had. His eyes follow his daughter before he joins Kate who is now packing up her desk.

'Hey,' he says and her smile makes his stomach do a flip. How did he get this lucky?

'Hey. You guys did a great job.'

'It was Alexis. She wouldn't give up.' He shakes his head, not for the first time finding himself awe of his daughter.

'Reminds me of someone else I know,' she says with a quirk of her eyebrow.

'Then it's something we three all have in common.'

She beams at him, apparently delighted that he thinks that they have this bond; that she shares a quality with her daughter that makes him proud.

'Thank you,' he adds, 'we'd never have done it without you and the guys. And Lanie, of course.'

'That's what family does, Rick,' she says quietly, a hint of pink colouring her cheeks as if she's worried that she's overstepping the boundaries.

He grabs her wrist and pulls her against his chest, overstepping other boundaries in his eagerness to reassure her.

'Castle!' she hisses, 'professional conduct, remember.'

He doesn't release her and she peers over his shoulder nervously.

'I've missed you,' he offers as his excuse.

'I've missed you too but let's not risk our working relationship for the sake of a few minutes.'

He huffs and releases her.

'You better hurry up then.'

'I'm ready. Just waiting on Alexis.'

They both look in her direction and are a little nonplussed to meet three pairs of eyes watching them. Ryan has that smug smile on his face that says "I know what's it's like to be in love" and Esposito shakes his head but can't hide the affection behind his smirk. Alexis is simply smiling, and Castle grins back. She doesn't roll her eyes or look embarrassed as she usually does when she catches them in a loving moment and it's a little thing but it makes him so ridiculously happy he can't stop himself reaching for Kate's hand and linking his fingers through hers.

'Let's get out of here,' she says, squeezing his fingers before pulling hers and away and putting on her gloves. 'Ready, Alexis?' she calls and the girl nods.

* * *

They take Alexis to her own apartment and walk her up, Castle insisting he carry her bag and she lets him. The trip has done them both good and Kate's not sure that all wounds are healed yet but they are well on their way.

'You want to come in?' she asks, her wide blue eyes signalling that it's a genuine invitation.

Kate's surprised and a little disappointed when Castle shakes his head, bending down to kiss his daughter's translucent forehead. She was looking forward to her first look at the place.

'You haven't seen Pi for two days. You'll want time alone,' he says and Kate is proud that there's no snark lurking in his voice or hint of a grimace around his mouth.

The girl nods and gives him a hug.

'Thanks, Dad.'

She turns her attention to Kate, surprising her with the second hug of the evening. Kate doesn't waver, returning the embrace. When they break apart she takes the redhead's shoulders firmly in her hands.

'What about you two come round to dinner next week?' she asks, holding her breath in case she's pushing too far.

She knows that the signal she's sending is that she and Castle come as a package. She releases her breath when the Alexis smiles up at her.

'Maybe we could come tomorrow?'

Kate doesn't need to look at her fiancé to know that he's only just managing to keep a lid on his happiness.

'Seven?'

'Great.'

They leave her in the hallway, fishing the keys out of her bag.

* * *

As soon as the elevator doors slide shut, he pulls her to him.

'Have I told you how great you are?' he says, nuzzling into her curls.

'You might have mentioned it,' she says, wrapping her arms around his waist.

'What did you talk about?' he asks, leaning back so that he can look at her face.

'You.'

'Wa… but… you… What did she say? What did you say?'

'Jeez, Castle. It's not all about you.'

'But you said… Kate, stop playing with me,' he whines and she relents, giving his pout a quick kiss because he's cute when he sulks

'She thanked me very nicely and I told her that there was no need because families support each other.'

His face lights up and she can see a glimmer of tears in his eyes and not for the first time she thinks how incredibly lucky she is that he loves her.

'I meant it when I said you were great,' he says softly.

'You're no so bad yourself.'

The doors slide open on the ground floor and they exit hand in hand.

'Are you sure you don't want to get married in space?' he asks, yelping as she digs her elbow into his ribs.

**I'd love to hear what you think. Bx**


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